I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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