You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize
