So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
