i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
did i walk over a car last night?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
