She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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