you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
