Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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