so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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