I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My cat gives me a boner
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Everclear isn't food dammit
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
