my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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