if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize