I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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