are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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