I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She's the barista slut.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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