Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We got so high we made milksteak
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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