Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
