My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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