Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
