i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
