you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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