this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
