You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
