when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize