I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
