i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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