he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
