I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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