Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
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If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize