Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
why do cheetos always look like penises
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
