Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Randomize