): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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