mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
