i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
