I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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