I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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