that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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