and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
