i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
