I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
