You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
