So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
