ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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