I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize