What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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