My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
