Your tits are I can't wait for
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
