oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
