Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
