Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
