I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
