Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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