if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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