So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
she peed on how many people?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
