i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I want a musical about memes.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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