when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize