What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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