Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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