how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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