HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
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The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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