mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Welp...herpes.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
