It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
