Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
